1. Foster parenting is a way to supplement my income. The truth is, foster parents get paid very little when the time, energy, and expense of raising a child is taken into consideration. Foster parents are very special people who provide a vital community service. People become foster parents for many reasons, but the key reason is they love and enjoy the company of children. The service and love they provide for these children cannot be measured in dollars.

2. It takes years to complete the process and receive a foster child. In reality, it takes about 3 – 6 months to complete the process, much of which depends on the applicant’s motivation and follow-through to meet the requirements for a foster care license. After the home study is completed, it can take a few more months for a child to be placed with a foster family, though sometimes things happen quicker. Every effort is made to match a child with the best available family for that child and place children in homes where they will be a good fit. This is why a large range of time is given and not hard timelines.

3. Foster children are all juvenile delinquents or have severe emotional problems. This is probably the biggest myth out there about children in foster care, and the media perpetuates this with stories of “ foster children gone wrong”. Children are amazingly resilient. Foster parents can make the difference by providing a structured, nurturing environment. We need to remember these children will grow up to be adults in our society. How we respond to them now will largely determine what kind of citizens they will be in the future.

4. I won’t have anything in common with my foster child. Foster children are no different than other people when it comes to goals, dreams, and hobbies. Like all of us, they desire loving homes, security, safety, and to have their basic needs met. They want to be respected by their peers, listened to, and understood.

5. Taking in a foster child will cause a disruption in my family structure. If you added a biological child to your family structure, things would also change. Children will need to adapt to the new addition, parenting roles may change, and some people adjust to change more readily than others. Adding a foster child takes the same thought processes as any change to a family. Becoming a foster family should, and needs to be, a family decision. Talk to your children before you bring a foster child into your home; get their support. Discuss what changes might occur, how will you respond, and what support you may need to make it a positive change rather than a negative one.

6. Biological parents whose children get put into foster care don’t care about their children and can’t get their lives together. The truth is, many biological parents are doing the best they can for their children and are eagerly working towards reunification, which is the ultimate goal of foster care. However, when children get taken away from their parents, overwhelmingly, those parents are dealing with crises, substance abuse, and other major life stressors. They simply cannot solve these problems and give the children the care they need at the same time.

7. All babies in the foster care system are born exposed to drugs or alcohol and will suffer permanent damage. The research does not at all find this to be true, and many of these children have little, to no, ill effects due to exposure. While some of these children do face physical and emotional problems due to exposure, just like other children, they need the nurturing and support that a family provides.

8. I could never love a child and give them back. There’s no doubt giving up a child who has been in your home can be very difficult. Veteran foster parents say that the first time a child leaves their home is the hardest. However, most veteran foster parents come to feel that providing a positive experience and a loving home for children in need – for however long – is what’s most important.

9. Once you get a foster child, you are on your own. The county has a lot of resources for foster parents. You will not be alone. You will always have a licensing worker to call upon for guidance and support. Other resources include: support groups, mentoring programs, medical services, and classes. One of the benefits of attending classes is the opportunity to network with other foster parents, learn about community resources, and share experiences with others who may also feel alone.

10. Social workers are hard to contact. Social workers, or caseworkers have a lot on their plates, and the system is designed for you to move from caseworker to caseworker as you progress through the licensing and placement process. However, you’ll always have at least one person to contact at any point in the process. Most families find that their critical needs are met in a satisfactory way, and many families develop good, positive relationships with their case workers.