My son's adoption isn't final yet. I'd originally said I wanted a child as young as possible, and as healthy as possible. I ended up getting a 15 month old who was totally special needs. He even needed a feeding tube. My mom, who used to be a neo-natal nurse, was visiting when the social workers called about him. I thought I might take him for a couple of weeks while they looked for someone else, and that my mom would help me since she was here. That first night I thought, "What have I done? This is going to be horrible." The next day, I woke up and got to know him, and realized he was this bright soul inside of this poor little body. I realized he was the child I wanted, and that I could take care of him. Almost all of his physical issues are resolved now, and I think he is going to grow up to be a totally healthy little boy.

I'm approaching my third month with him, but it feels like I've had him all my life. The biggest benefit has been that it is a daily, joyful experience. The biggest drawback? I'm tired. I have about ten things to do before I go to bed tonight... and I keep getting colds from picking up my foster son in daycare! Still, that's no different from what any parent goes through.

Adopting through the county is a long process and a lot of work. You open yourself up to strangers coming in and looking at your house and finances - but that's a good thing, actually. By the time you are done, you are ready to have a child come into your home. By doing it step-by-step, you don't have to make the big decision right away. You can back out at any time. The process really eases you into this huge decision you are making. The questions the social workers ask really get you thinking about your motivations, your own childhood, and how you might want to do it differently. If you get pregnant biologically, you aren't forced to address all that.

I'm not judging people who can afford to go overseas and adopt an infant. Still, when it comes down to it, if you want a child and don't have lots of money to spend on adoption, going through the county is a good choice. These aren't the dangerous kids people are afraid of. These are wonderful children who will give you more than you can ever them.